Entitlement: 8 Things Therapists Need To Know About This Schema

Early maladaptive schemas (EMS) are negative, longstanding themes or patterns in a person’s life that are dysfunctional and self-defeating. Structurally, EMS are believed to consist of thoughts, memories, emotions, bodily sensations, and the meanings ascribed to them.

Entitlement is an early maladaptive schema associated with a global and pervasive belief that one deserves more than others. Individuals with this schema may believe they are inherently superior and therefore entitled to special treatment or privileges. They may also experience difficulties with cooperation, reciprocity, respecting other people’s rights, and setting internal limits (Bach et al., 2018; Young et al., 2003).

1. Entitlement is broader than narcissism

The entitlement schema was previously referred to as entitlement/grandiosity (Young et al., 2003). Individuals with this schema often have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and believe they are not bound by the rules that guide normal interactions, such as reciprocity, respect, or courtesy. Some may seek to control or dominate others to assert their power or fulfil their desires, regardless of the consequences (Rafaeli et al., 2011). While entitlement is often expressed through narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder, they are not synonymous. Some individuals express the schema in other ways, such as ignoring rules, pushing boundaries, or rebelling against authority.

2. Entitlement manifests in various ways

Common hallmarks of this schema include grandiosity, excessive demands, limited empathy, competitiveness, and control over others. Grandiosity, for example, may involve boasting, overemphasizing one’s strengths and unique qualities, displaying haughty attitudes, or devaluing others (Day et al., 2020; Loose et al., 2020). Excessive demands, on the other hand, may involve expecting others to meet one’s needs or fulfil one’s desires without reciprocity. The individual may insist they should have what they want, when they want it, regardless of what is realistic, socially acceptable, or convenient for others (Young, 2014).

3. There are different ‘types’ of entitlement

“Pure” entitlement: These individuals behave in a spoiled and excessively deserving manner. In short, everything must be their way (Young & Klosko, 1994). They were often overindulged as children and subject to few boundaries. As adults, they may come across as demanding, easily frustrated, and disinterested in rules and limits.

“Fragile” entitlement: These individuals behave in an entitled and grandiose manner to compensate for other schemas, such defectiveness and emotional deprivation. Beneath their mask of superiority, these individuals may feel flawed, inferior, and unlovable (Young & Klosko, 1994). This presentation is often associated with narcissistic personality disorder.

“Dependent” entitlement: These individuals believe other people are obliged to meet their needs. They may behave in a weak or incompetent manner and expect others to care for them. In short, people owe them support (Young & Klosko, 1994). This presentation is often associated with the dependence/incompetence schema alongside entitlement.

“Self-righteous” entitlement: These individuals feel entitled and superior because of their ‘virtuous’ qualities. They may boast about being extremely generous, kind, trustworthy, or helpful (Gebauer et al., 2012). This presentation is often associated with a combination of self-sacrifice and entitlement schemas.

4. It doesn’t always involve indulgence during childhood

Entitlement is associated with unmet emotional needs relating to limit-setting, unconditional love and attention, mutual respect and cooperation, and empathic consideration Bach et al., 2018; Lockwood & Perris, 2012). Formative experiences linked to the development of this schema may include conditionality (love and affection were contingent on the child fulfilling their parents’ egotistical needs), abuse (the child was criticised or shamed and learned to overcompensate by being superior or demanding), social rejection (the child was idolised within their family but rejected by their peer group), as well as overindulgence and permissiveness.

5. Cognitive distortions maintain the schema

Entitlement is associated with various cognitive distortions or ‘unhelpful thinking styles’, including all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, disqualifying the positive, emotional reasoning, fortune-telling, labeling, mental filtering, overgeneralization, personalization, and “should” statements (e.g., Lorzangeneh & Issazadegan, 2022). Example cognitive might include:

• “Either I am treated as special, or I am worthless.”

• “Compromising is a sign of weakness.”

• “She disagrees with me because she’s jealous of my success.”

• “Other people should give me the support I want.”

6. Coping responses are not limited to dominance

People respond to their schemas through surrender, avoidance, or overcompensation (Young et al., 2003). For example, clients might surrender to this schema by acting in a grandiose manner; escape from it by avoiding people who seem superior; or overcompensating by being very kind, generous, or focused on other people’s needs.

7. Co-occurring schemas can also shape clients’ presentation

Entitlement frequently co-occurs with other schemas. Combinations include:

• Defectiveness. The client overcompensates for their flaws by acting superior, demanding approval, or believing they are entitled to special treatment (‘fragile entitlement’).

• Dependence/incompetence. The client feels entitled to depend on others for support (‘dependent entitlement’).

• Insufficient self-control. The client cannot accept limits or refusal, which may lead to impulsive actions (e.g., impulsive aggression) (Vazire & Funder, 2006).

• Punitiveness. The client responds punitively to threats to their grandiosity. For instance, they might be easily offended or unwilling to forgive past transgressions (e.g., Exline et al., 2004)

• Self-sacrifice. The client presents as a ‘noble narcissist’ (Behary & Dieckman, 2011) who expresses their superiority by appearing to be more altruistic than others (‘self-righteous entitlement’).

• Unrelenting standards. The client was ignored or devalued unless they achieved high standards as a child; as an adult, the client sets demanding standards for themselves or others, fearing that rest or imperfection will expose their inadequacy. Alternatively, the client comes to believe in their façade of perfection, contributing to their sense of entitlement and grandiosity (Hewitt et al., 1992; Horney, 1950)

8. Treatment targets extend beyond reducing grandiosity

Cultivating relationships based on mutual respect and equality are often key to healing this schema. This might involve learning new ways of communicating (e.g., being respectfully assertive rather than aggressive) and enhancing the client’s capacity for compassion and tolerance. Helping clients develop a balanced perspective on themselves and others can also be important, alongside setting healthy limits on their behaviour and expectations.

Frequently asked questions

Is entitlement always linked to overindulgent parenting?

No. It may be associated with indulgence or permissiveness, but also with overprotection, conditional affection, emotional neglect, and abuse.

Does entitlement always involve high self-esteem?

No. Entitlement may compensate for feelings of defectiveness, inferiority, failure, or unlovability.

Is entitlement unique to narcissistic personality disorder?

No. Entitlement is associated with a range of difficulties, including addictions (Kahouei et al., 2020), bipolar disorder (Nilsson et al., 2015; Ak et al., 2011), burnout (Bamber & McMahon, 2008; Simpson et al., 2019), depression (Bishop et al., 2022), and other personality disorders (Nordahl et al., 2005).

Further reading

• Bach, B., Lockwood, G., & Young, J. E. (2018). A new look at the schema therapy model: Organization and role of early maladaptive schemas. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, 47, 328–349.

• Behary, W. T., & Dieckmann, E. (2011). Schema therapy for narcissism: The art of empathic confrontation, limit-setting, and leverage. In W. K. Campbell & J. D. Miller (Eds.), Narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder: Theoretical approaches, empirical findings, and treatments (pp.445-456). John Wiley and Sons.

• Behary, W. T., & Dieckmann, E. (2013). Schema therapy for pathological narcissism: The art of adaptive parenting. In J. S. Ogrodniczuk (Ed.), Understanding and treating pathological narcissism (pp. 285-300). American Psychological Association.

• Rafaeli, E., Bernstein, D. P., & Young, J. E. (2011). Schema therapy: Distinctive features. Routledge.

• Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s guide. Guilford Press.