This information handout explains how negative self-talk can make it hard to communicate assertively, and offers helpful coping statements that support assertiveness.
Includes client-friendly guidance. Downloads are in Fillable PDF format where appropriate.
Offers theory, guidance, and prompts for mental health professionals. Downloads are in Fillable PDF format where appropriate.
Negative thoughts or 'self-statements' can interfere with a person’s ability to communicate effectively. Informed by self-instructional training (SIT), the Assertiveness – Coping Statements handout explains how self-statements influence emotional and behavioral responses and shows clients how to develop more helpful coping statements.
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Testing beliefs about judgment, rejection, or negative evaluation during assertive interactions.
Identifying worries and concerns about self-expression.
Addressing beliefs that contribute to passivity, low confidence, or difficulty expressing needs.
Helping clients identify beliefs about burdening others, appearing selfish, or not being entitled to one's needs.
Clarifying beliefs that interfere with direct, honest, and respectful communication in relationships.
Explain how self-statements influence feelings and behavior during interactions.
Help the client notice the negative self-statements that arise before, during, or after assertive situations.
Review the example coping statements and choose ones that feel credible, relevant, and personally meaningful.
Encourage the client to use the handout guidance to put their coping statements into action.
Research indicates that self-statements can play a role in assertive communication. For example, non-assertive individuals typically experience more negative and less positive self-statements than assertive individuals (e.g., Schwartz & Gottman 1976; see also, Bruch, 1981). Consequently, addressing maladaptive self-statements is sometimes included in assertiveness training programs (Craighead, 1979: Linehan, 1979; Rakos, 1991).
Self-instructional training (SIT; Meichenbaum, 1977; Meichenbaum & Goodman, 1971) aims to bring maladaptive self-statements into awareness and develop alternative self-instructions (‘coping statements’) that support more adaptive responses (Dowd, 2002; Valerio & Stone, 1982). Research indicates SIT is an effective intervention for assertiveness. For example, Craighead (1979) found SIT to be significantly more effective than no treatment or placebo control on several outcome measures. In a direct comparison of SIT plus assertiveness skills training, a rational-emotive intervention (focused on identifying and challenging maladaptive self-statements) plus assertiveness skills training, and behavioral assertiveness training, all three training groups produced similar outcomes. Additionally, Kazdin and Mascitelli (1982) found that individuals who engaged in self-instructions experienced greater improvements in assertive communication at post-treatment than those who only used behavioral rehearsal.
The Assertiveness – Coping Statements information handout is informed by SIT. It introduces clients to self-statements and explains how coping statements can be used to support assertive communication. Therapists can use this resource for psychoeducation or as a tool to help clients develop their own coping statements.
An explanation of what self-statements are.
Examples of coping statements that support assertive communication.
Practical suggestions for rehearsing and strengthening coping statements.
Therapist guidance for introducing the handout and helping clients personalize it.
Recommendations for further reading.
This resource helps clients:
Become more aware of their negative self-talk.
Develop adaptive coping statements that help them be assertive.
Put these coping statements into practice.
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