Developing Your Coping Statements

This exercise helps clients identify negative self-statements that interfere with assertive communication, and develop adaptive coping statements that support self-expression.

Psychology Tools Resource: Developing Your Coping Statements

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Client version

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Professional version

Offers theory, guidance, and prompts for mental health professionals. Downloads are in Fillable PDF format where appropriate.

Psychology Tools Resource: Developing Your Coping Statements

Overview

Research indicates that negative thoughts and beliefs can affect the way people communicate. For this reason, several assertiveness training programs address the negative ‘self-statements’ that hinder assertive communication. The Developing Your Coping Statements exercise is informed by self-instructional training. It is designed to help clients identify their negative self-statements and develop alternative coping statements that support assertive communication and emotional regulation during challenging interactions.

Key benefits

Informative

Helps clients become more aware of their negative self-statements.

Practical

Provides a framework for developing and rehearsing helpful coping statements.

Useful

Helps clients feel confident before they assert themselves.

Accessible

Easy to understand and use.

What difficulties is this for?

Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)

Testing beliefs about judgment, rejection, or negative evaluation during assertive interactions.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Identifying worries and concerns about self-expression.

Depression

Addressing beliefs that contribute to passivity, low confidence, or difficulty expressing needs.

Low Self-Esteem

Helping clients identify beliefs about burdening others, appearing selfish, or not being entitled to one's needs.

Interpersonal Difficulties

Clarifying beliefs that interfere with direct, honest, and respectful communication in relationships.

Integrating it into your practice

01

Introduce

Explain how self-statements influence feelings and behavior during interactions.

02

Identify

Help the client list the negative self-statements they experience before, during, and after assertive situations.

03

Develop

Generate concise coping statements that support assertive behavior, emotional regulation, and self-reflection.

04

Cue

Identify thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, or behaviors that can act as signals to use these coping statements.

05

Rehearse

Encourage the client to practice their coping statements regularly.

06

Review

Reflect on what worked and refine the statements after challenging interactions.

Theoretical background and therapist guidance

Self-instructional training (SIT; Meichenbaum, 1977; Meichenbaum & Goodman, 1971) aims to bring maladaptive ‘self-talk’ or ‘self-statements’ into awareness and develop alternative self-instructions that support more adaptive responses (Dowd, 2002; Valerio & Stone, 1982). Informed by the work of Lev Vygotsky (1962) and Alexander Luria (1961), SIT recognizes that the internalization of self-statements plays a key role in self-control and behavior regulation (Meichenbaum, 1977). Accordingly, SIT is distinguished from other cognitive interventions such as ‘rational restructuring’, which focus on challenging maladaptive thoughts (Carmody, 1978; Dowd, 2002; Rakos, 1991).

SIT in assertiveness training aims to guide assertive behavior, improve emotional regulation, and ensure the transfer and maintenance of these skills after treatment (Jakubowski & Lange, 1978; Linehan, 1979). Clients are taught that self-statements play a role in assertive communication and explore new coping statements that support assertive behavior. These coping statements are then reviewed and rehearsed prior to taking assertive action.

Research indicates SIT is an effective intervention for assertive communication. For example, Craighead (1979) found SIT to be significantly more effective than no treatment or placebo control on several outcome measures. In a direct comparison of SIT plus assertiveness skills training, a rational-emotive intervention (focused on identifying and challenging maladaptive self-statements) plus assertiveness skills training, and behavioral assertiveness training, all three training groups produced similar outcomes. Additionally, Kazdin and Mascitelli (1982) found that individuals who engaged in self-instructions experienced greater improvements in assertive communication at post-treatment than those who only used behavioral rehearsal.

This Developing Your Coping Statements exercise is informed by self-instructional training. It is designed to help clients identify their negative self-statements and develop alternative coping statements that support assertive communication and emotional regulation during interactions.

Psychology Tools Resource: Developing Your Coping Statements

What's inside

  • A structured worksheet for identifying negative self-statements and developing adaptive coping statements.

  • Prompts and guidance for helping clients create coping statements.

  • Examples of negative self-statements and alternative coping statements.

  • Recommendations for further reading.

Get access to this resource

FAQs

Self-statements are repetitive internal sentences or forms of self-talk that can influence how people feel and behave. They may support adaptive functioning or interfere with it.
Coping statements provide alternative self-instructions that help clients communicate assertively, regulate difficult emotions, and remain focused on what they want to do during challenging interactions.
Therapists can use prompted recall, self-monitoring, role-play, hypothetical scenarios, or questionnaire measures to help make automatic self-statements more accessible.
Clients can rehearse them aloud, read them silently, write them on flashcards, imagine using them in difficult situations, and experiment with them in easier real-world interactions before progressing to harder ones.

How this resource helps improve clinical outcomes

The resource helps clients:

  • Become more aware of their negative self-talk.

  • Develop adaptive coping statements that support assertive communication.

  • Put these coping statements into practice.

  • Express themselves calmly and confidently.

References and further reading

  • Alberti, R. E., & Emmons, M. L. (2017). Your perfect right: Assertiveness and equality in your life and relationships (10th ed.). Impact Publishers

  • Alden, L., & Cappe, R. (1981). Nonassertiveness: Skill deficit or selective self-evaluation? Behavior Therapy, 12, 107-114. DOI: 10.1016/S0005-7894(81)80111-6.

  • Alden, L., & Safran, J. (1978). Irrational beliefs and nonassertive behavior. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 2, 357-364. DOI: 10.1007/BF01172652.

  • Bruch, M. A. (1981). A task analysis of assertive behavior revisited: Replication and extension. Behavior Therapy, 12, 217-230. DOI: 10.1016/S0005-7894(81)80074-3.

  • Carmody, T. P. (1978). Rational, emotive, self-instructional, and behavioral assertion training: Facilitating maintenance. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 2, 241-253. DOI: 10.1007/BF01185786.

  • Chłopicki, W. (2017). Communication styles: An overview. Styles of Communication, 9, 9-25.

  • Craighead, L. W. (1979). Self-instructional training for assertive-refusal behavior. Behavior Therapy, 10, 529-542. DOI: 10.1016/S0005-7894(79)80054-4.

  • Dowd, E. T. (2002). Self-statement modification. In Hersen, M., & Sledge, M. (Eds.), Encyclopedia of psychotherapy (pp.625-628). Elsevier Science.

  • Duckworth, M. P. (2009). Assertiveness skills and the management of related factors. In W. T. O’Donohue & J. E. Fisher (Eds.), General principles and empirically supported techniques of cognitive behavior therapy (pp. 124–132). John Wiley and Sons.

  • Gilbert, P., & Allan, S. (1994). Assertiveness, submissive behaviour and social comparison. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 33, 295-306. DOI: 10.1111/j.2044-8260.1994.tb01125.x.

  • Glass, C. R., Merluzzi, T. V., Biever, J. L., & Larsen, K. H. (1982). Cognitive assessment of social anxiety: Development and validation of a self-statement questionnaire. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 6, 37-55. DOI: 10.1007/BF01185725.

  • Hagberg, T., Manhem, P., Oscarsson, M., Michel, F., Andersson, G., & Carlbring, P. (2023). Efficacy of transdiagnostic cognitive-behavioral therapy for assertiveness: A randomized controlled trial. Internet Interventions, 32, 100629. DOI: 10.1016/j.invent.2023.100629.

  • Hayward, M., Strauss, C., & Kingdon, D. (2012). Overcoming distress voices: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioral techniques. Robinson.

  • Heimberg, R. G., & Becker, R. E. (1981). Cognitive and behavioral models of assertive behavior: Review, analysis and integration. Clinical Psychology Review, 1, 353-373. DOI: 10.1016/0272-7358(81)90011-8.

  • Jacobs, M. K., & Cochran, S. D. (1982). The effects of cognitive restructuring on assertive behavior. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 6, 63-76. DOI: 10.1007/BF01185727.

  • Jakubowski, P., & Lange, A. J. (1978). The assertive option: Your rights and responsibilities. Research Press Company.

  • Kaplan, D. A. (1982). Behavioral, cognitive, and behavioral-cognitive aprroaches to group assertion training therapy. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 6, 301-314. DOI: 10.1007/BF01173578.

  • Kazdin, A. E., & Mascitelli, S. (1982). Behavioral rehearsal, self-instructions, and homework practice in developing assertiveness. Behavior Therapy, 13, 346-360. DOI: 10.1016/S0005-7894(82)80043-9.

  • Linehan, M. M. (1979). Structured cognitive-behavioral treatment of assertion problems. In P. C. Kendall & S. V. Hollon (Eds.), Cognitive-behavioral interventions: Theory, research, and procedures (pp. 205-240). Academic Press.

  • Luria, A. (1961). The role of speech in the regulation of normal and abnormal behavior. Liveright.

  • McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning P. (1981). Thoughts and feelings: The art of cognitive stress intervention. New Harbinger Publications.

  • Meichenbaum, D. (1977). Cognitive-behavior modification: An integrative approach. Plenum Press.

  • Meichenbaum, D. (2007). Stress inoculation training: A preventative and treatment approach. In P. M. Lehrer, R. L. Woolfolk, & W. S. Sime (Eds.), Principles and practice of stress management (3rd ed., pp. 497–518). Guilford Press.

  • Meichenbaum, D. H., & Goodman, J. (1971). Training impulsive children to talk to themselves: A means of developing self-control. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 77, 115-126. DOI: 10.1037/h0030773

  • Orenstein, H., Orenstein, E., & Carr, J. E. (1975). Assertiveness and anxiety: A correlational study. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 6, 203-207. DOI: 10.1016/0005-7916(75)90100-7.

  • Paterson, R. J. (2022). The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work & in Relationships (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.

  • Pfafman, T. M., & McEwan, B. (2014). Polite women at work: Negotiating professional identity through strategic assertiveness. Women’s Studies in Communication, 37, 202-219. DOI: 10.1080/07491409.2014.911231.

  • Rakos, R. F. (1991). Assertive behavior: Theory, research, and training. Routledge.

  • Rohner, J., & Schutz, A. (2024). Psychology of communication. Springer.

  • Schwartz, R. M., & Gottman, J. M. (1976). Toward a task analysis of assertive behavior. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 44, 910-920. DOI: 10.1037/0022-006X.44.6.910

  • Speed, B. C., Goldstein, B. L., & Goldfried, M. R. (2018). Assertiveness training: A forgotten evidence-based treatment. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 25, e12216. DOI: 10.1111/cpsp.12216.

  • Suzuki, E., Saito, M., Tagaya, A., Mihara, R., Maruyama, A., Azuma, T., & Sato, C. (2009). Relationship between assertiveness and burnout among nurse managers. Japan Journal of Nursing Science, 6, 71-81. DOI: 10.1111/j.1742-7924.2009.00124.x.

  • Vagos, P., & Pereira, A. (2016). A cognitive perspective for understanding and training assertiveness. European Psychologist, 21, 109–121. DOI: 10.1027/1016-9040/a000250.

  • Valerio, H. P., & Stone, G. L. (1982). Effects of behavioral, cognitive, and combined treatments for assertion as a function of differential deficits. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 29, 158-168. DOI: 10.1037/0022-0167.29.2.158.

  • Vygotsky, L. (1962). Thought and language. Wiley.