A practical information handout that helps clients use repetition effectively and assertively during difficult interactions, without escalating conflict.
Offers theory, guidance, and prompts for mental health professionals. Downloads are in Fillable PDF format where appropriate.
Includes client-friendly guidance. Downloads are in Fillable PDF format where appropriate.
Assertive communication sometimes requires repetition, especially in challenging interpersonal situations where the other person does not listen, respond, or comply with reasonable requests. The CALM – Repeating Yourself Assertively resource teaches clients how to effectively restate their needs, messages, or boundaries, without resorting to aggression or passivity.
Drawing on the ‘broken record technique’ (Smith, 1975), this resource describes how to be assertively persistent with other people in a calm and respectful manner. The information handout is designed to support effective communication and help clients develop their assertiveness skills during sessions and when practicing on their own.
Many people struggle to be assertive when their requests are ignored or challenged. This resource helps break that pattern.
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To encourage confident, respectful social interactions.
For anxious clients who struggle to express themselves.
Supports clients whose communication is hindered by hopelessness or low self-worth.
For clients experiencing social difficulties that are impacted by communication problems.
Encourages development of self-respect and clear expression of needs.
Explain what assertiveness is and why it can be helpful.
Orientate clients to the script, including what it entails and when it can be useful.
Discuss each step of the script, including example statements clients can use.
Model or role-play implementing the script.
Give as homework to reflect on and prepare for real-life scenarios.
Explore the client’s use of the technique and reflect on outcomes.
Combine with other assertiveness tools, such as body language exercises.
While basic assertiveness skills (such as using assertive body language and I-messages) form the foundation of assertive communication, many clients benefit from more structured guidance for navigating specific real-world interactions (Duckworth, 2008). This is especially true of emotionally charged situations, such as saying no to requests or relationship difficulties. Assertiveness scripts are commonly used to address this (e.g., Linehan, 2015; Martin, 2021; Paterson, 2022). From a practical perspective, they serve as a bridge between learning and implementing assertive communication. For therapists, these scripts provide a framework for developing and sequencing assertive messages in specific contexts. For clients, the scripts can help reduce anxiety, simplify complex exchanges, and support practice within or between sessions.
Asserting oneself in situations where others make repeated requests or struggle to listen can be particularly difficult, and often requires persistence. A well-known method for managing such interactions is the ‘broken record technique’, which involves calmly repeating one’s message without deviation or emotional reactivity (Smith, 1975). Drawing on this technique, the CALM – Repeating Yourself Assertively information handout uses the ‘CALM’ acronym to describe how to be assertively persistent with other people in a calm and respectful manner. Clients will find this script particularly helpful when they need to set a limit, their requests are ignored, or they feel pressured to comply.
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