Self-Forgiveness

An information handout exploring self-forgiveness - what it is, what it entails, and when it may (or may not) be helpful.
 

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Professional version

Offers theory, guidance, and prompts for mental health professionals. Downloads are in Fillable PDF format where appropriate.

Client version

Includes client-friendly guidance. Downloads are in Fillable PDF format where appropriate.

Overview

At some point in their lives, everyone acts (or fails to act) in ways that cause harm, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Recognizing that our behavior has fallen short of our values, principles, or personal standards can lead to different responses. These include self-condemnation, pseudo self-forgiveness, and genuine self-forgiveness. Research indicates that genuine self-forgiveness can be a helpful response to offences we have committed, benefitting our physical health, mental health, and relationships.
 

This illustrated information handout describes what self-forgiveness is, what it entails, and situations where it might be less helpful.
 

Why Use This Resource?

Working with clients who struggle with self-blame and unresolved guilt can be challenging. This resource:
 

  • Explains what self-forgiveness is.
  • Describes how to work towards self-forgiveness.
  • Presents practical strategies that support self-forgiveness, such as limiting rumination.
  • Highlights when self-forgiveness may be counterproductive.

Key Benefits

Clarity

Differentiates between helpful and unhelpful responses to wrongdoing.

Structure

Outlines the key steps of self-forgiveness.

Flexibility

Can be use in a variety of treatments.

Who is this for?

Depression

Low mood linked to perceived moral failures.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Shame or guilt related to traumatic events or moral injury.

Self-Criticism

Intense self-blame for past wrongdoings.

Integrating it into your practice

01

Recognize

Identify signs of self-condemnation or rumination related to personal transgressions.

02

Reflect

Discuss the various ways individuals respond to actions that have caused harm to others.

03

Discuss

Explore what self-forgiveness typically entails and consider whether it could be beneficial.

04

Support

If the client wishes to work towards self-forgiveness, provide guidance and support.

Theoretical Background & Therapist Guidance

Self-condemnation often arises from personal transgressions, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and reduced self-worth (Woodyatt & Wenzel, 2013a; Wohl & McLaughlin, 2014). In contrast, pseudo self-forgiveness involves denying responsibility, which can temporarily alleviate distress (Woodyatt & Wenzel, 2013b). In genuine self-forgiveness, individuals accept accountability for their actions and work to amend their behavior, ultimately restoring self-worth and empathy (Woodyatt & Wenzel, 2013a; Worthington, 2013).
 

Clients may benefit from exploring self-forgiveness if they experience persistent shame, guilt, or remorse, as well as self-criticism or avoidance behaviors (Cornish et al., 2017). A useful framework for achieving self-forgiveness is the four Rs: responsibility, remorse, restoration, and renewal (Cornish & Wade, 2015a). Therapists may also need to incorporate additional tools, such as distinguishing feelings from facts and enhancing emotional regulation.
 

What's inside

  • Detailed explanations of self-condemnation, pseudo self-forgiveness, and genuine self-forgiveness.
  • Descriptions of therapeutic models for facilitating self-forgiveness.
  • Limitations and potential contraindications of self-forgiveness.
  • Therapist prompts for discussing self-forgiveness with clients.
Get access to this resource

FAQs

No, genuine self-forgiveness includes taking full responsibility without justification or minimization. It involves accountability and a commitment to change.
Self-forgiveness is typically episodic and focused on specific wrongdoings, while self-compassion is an ongoing way of relating to oneself. They share common ground, but are not the same.
Not in genuine self-forgiveness. When done responsibly, it promotes empathy, restorative action, and relationship repair rather than avoidance or defensiveness.

How This Resource Improves Clinical Outcomes

This resource helps clients:

  • Reflect on their responses to personal wrongoings.
  • Decide whether self-forgiveness might be helpful.
  • Begin putting self-forgiveness into action.

References And Further Reading

  • Cleare, S., Gumley, A., & O’Connor, R. C. (2019). Self‐compassion, self‐forgiveness, suicidal ideation, and self‐harm: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 26, 511-530. DOI: 10.1002/cpp.2372.
  • Cornish, M. A., & Wade, N. G. (2015a). A therapeutic model of self‐forgiveness with intervention strategies for counselors. Journal of Counseling and Development, 96-104. DOI: 10.1002/j.1556-6676.2015.00185.x.
  • Cornish, M. A., & Wade, N. G. (2015b). Working through past wrongdoing: Examination of a self-forgiveness counseling intervention. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 62, 521-528. DOI: 10.1037/cou0000080.
  • Cornish, M. A., Wade, N. G., & Cikara, A. (2017). Self-forgiveness in individual psychotherapy: Therapeutic models and counseling outcomes. In: Woodyatt, L., Worthington Jr., E. L., Wenzel, M., & Griffin, B. J., (Eds.), Handbook of the psychology of self-forgiveness (pp.163 - 177). Springer.
  • Cornish, M. A., Woodyatt, L., Morris, G., Conroy, A., & Townsdin, J. (2018). Self-forgiveness, self-exoneration, and self-condemnation: Individual differences associated with three patterns of responding to interpersonal offenses. Personality and Individual Differences, 129, 43-53. DOI: 10.1016/j.paid.2018.03.003.
  • Davis, D. E., et al. (2015). Forgiving the self and physical and mental health correlates: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 62, 329-335. DOI: 10.1037/cou0000063.
  • Dearing, R. L., & Tangney, J. P. (2011). Shame in the therapy hour. American Psychological Association.
  • Enright, R. D. (1996). Counseling within the forgiveness triad: On forgiving, receiving forgiveness, and self-forgiveness. Counseling and Values, 40, 107-127. DOI: 10.1002/j.2161-007X.1996.tb00844.x
  • Fisher, M. L., & Exline, J. J. (2006). Self-forgiveness versus excusing: The roles of remorse, effort, and acceptance of responsibility. Self and Identity, 5, 127-146. DOI: 10.1080/15298860600586123.
  • Fisher, M. L., & Exline, J. J. (2010). Moving toward self‐forgiveness: Removing barriers related to shame, guilt, and regret. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 4, 548-558. DOI: 10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00276.x.
  • Gilbert, P., & Woodyatt, L. (2017). An evolutionary approach to shame-based self-criticism, self-forgiveness, and compassion. In: Woodyatt, L., et al. (Eds.), Handbook of the psychology of self-forgiveness (pp.29-41). Springer.
  • Gillen, N., et al. (2012). Relational boredom and willingness to engage in infidelity: The role of self-forgiveness. [Poster] SPSP, San Diego, CA.
  • Griffin, B. J., et al. (2015). Forgiveness and mental health. In: Toussaint, L. L., et al. (Eds.), Forgiveness and health (pp.77-90). Springer.
  • Griffin, B. J., et al. (2015). Efficacy of a self-forgiveness workbook: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 62, 124-136. DOI: 10.1037/cou0000060
  • Gueta, K. (2013). Self-forgiveness in the recovery of Israeli drug-addicted mothers: A qualitative exploration. Journal of Drug Issues, 43, 450-467. DOI: 10.1177/0022042613491097.
  • Hall, J. H., & Fincham, F. D. (2005). Self-forgiveness: The stepchild of forgiveness research. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24, 621-637. DOI: 10.1521/jscp.2005.24.5.621.
  • Jacinto, G. A., & Edwards, B. L. (2011). Therapeutic stages of forgiveness and self-forgiveness. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 21, 423-437. DOI: 10.1080/15433714.2011.531215.
  • Jung, M., et al. (2019). Self-forgiveness moderates the effects of depression on suicidality. Psychiatry Investigation, 16, 121-129. DOI: 10.30773/pi.2018.11.12.1.
  • Li, J., et al. (2019). Guilt in bereavement: Its relationship with complicated grief and depression. International Journal of Psychology, 54, 454-461. DOI: 10.1002/ijop.12483.
  • López‐Castro, T., et al. (2019). Association between shame and PTSD: A meta‐analysis. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 32, 484-495. DOI: 10.1002/jts.22411.
  • Martin, L. L., et al. (2003). Rumination as a function of goal progress. In: Papageorgiou & Wells (Eds.), Depressive rumination (pp.153-175). John Wiley.
  • McConnell, J. M. (2015). A conceptual-theoretical-empirical framework for self-forgiveness. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 37, 143-164. DOI: 10.1080/01973533.2015.1016160.
  • Pelucchi, S., et al. (2013). Self-forgiveness in romantic relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 27, 541-549. DOI: 10.1037/a0032897.
  • Sheehy, K., et al. (2019). Shame, guilt, and self-harm: A meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 73, 101779. DOI: 10.1016/j.cpr.2019.101779.
  • Terzino, K. A. (2010). Self-forgiveness for interpersonal and intrapersonal transgressions. Iowa State University.
  • Toussaint, L. L., et al. (2019). Forgiveness and physical health. In: Worthington Jr. & Wade (Eds.), Handbook of forgiveness (pp.178-187). Routledge.
  • Webb, J. R., et al. (2017). A consensus definition of self-forgiveness. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 4, 216-227. DOI: 10.1037/scp0000138.
  • Wohl, M. J., & McLaughlin, K. J. (2014). Self‐forgiveness: The good, the bad, and the ugly. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 8, 422-435. DOI: 10.1111/spc3.12119.
  • Wohl, M. J., et al. (2010). I forgive myself, now I can study. Personality and Individual Differences, 48, 803--808. DOI: 10.1016/j.paid.2010.01.029.
  • Wohl, M. J., & Thompson, A. (2011). A dark side to self‐forgiveness: Forgiving the self and its association with chronic unhealthy behaviour. British Journal of Social Psychology, 50(2, 354-364. DOI: 10.1111/j.2044-8309.2010.02010.x.
  • Woodyatt, L. (2023). Self-condemnation and pathways to forgiveness. In: G. Pettigrove & R. Enright (Eds.), The Routledge handbook of the philosophy and psychology of forgiveness (pp.519-532). Routledge.
  • Woodyatt, L., & Wenzel, M. (2013). Self-forgiveness and restoration of an offender following an interpersonal transgression. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 32, 225-259. DOI: 10.1521/jscp.2013.32.2.225.
  • Woodyatt, L., Wenzel, M., & de Vel-Palumbo, M. (2017). Working through psychological needs following transgressions to arrive at self-forgiveness. In: Woodyatt, L., Worthington Jr., E. L., Wenzel, M., & Griffin, B. J., (Eds.), Handbook of the psychology of self-forgiveness (pp.43-58) Springer.
  • Woodyatt, L., & Wenzel, M. (2020). The psychology of self-forgiveness. In: E. L. Worthington Jr. & N. G. Wade (Eds.), Handbook of forgiveness (2nd ed.) (pp.22-32). Routledge.
  • Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2013). Moving forward: Six steps to forgiving yourself and breaking free from the past. WaterBrook Multnomah.

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