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Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important treatment for resolving feelings of anger, hurt, and betrayal. Forgiveness therapy is an evidence-based treatment for anger (Enright & Fitzgibbons, 2000, 2015). Enright and Fitzgibbons have published extensively regarding forgiveness therapy. Their approach views forgiveness as a process involving stages of uncovering, decision, work, and deepening. Read more
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Forgiveness Is

Forgiveness is an effectvie treatment for anger and relieving hurt. Sadly, many people dismiss forgiveness due to misconceptions regarding its nature. ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/forgiveness-is/

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Forgiveness Methods

Forgiveness is an effective treatment for anger and the relief of hurt. This information handout describes techniques for forgiveness and the steps in ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/forgiveness-methods/

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Forgiveness Quotes

Forgiveness takes courage and strength. This information handout contains a helpful selection of quotations about forgiveness from famous figures. ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/forgiveness-quotes/

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Unforgiveness Hook Metaphor

Forgiveness is an often misunderstood concept in therapy. This Unforgiveness Hook Metaphor is a striking representation of the consequences of remaini ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/unforgiveness-hook-metaphor/

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What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a complicated term that is frequently misunderstood. Forgiving encompasses:

  • a willingness to abandon one’s right to resentment, negative judgment, and negative behavior toward one who acted unjustly; and
  • the voluntary fostering of the undeserved qualities of compassion, generosity, and sometimes even love toward the one who offended.

What Forgiveness Is Not…

Forgiveness is often misunderstood to mean reconciling, forgetting, pardoning, and/or accepting. Forgiving is separate from justice—one can forgive but still seek recognition and justice.

Freedman and Enright (2017) quote a survivor of domestic violence who clarifies some of the dimensions of forgiveness:

“Upon forgiving, I have not forgotten what happened. In remembering I make different choices in my intimate relationships. I do not condone what was done to me. It was morally wrong and undeserved. This forgiveness is not pardon, for I do not excuse his behavior or pretend it never occurred. My process of forgiveness was not reconciliation. In fact, mine was the opposite. It is a fracture that will never be mended.”

The Process Model of Forgiveness

Enright’s model of forgiveness identifies four phases.

  • Uncovering phase: In which the injured person comes to an awareness of their hurt and feelings associated with how they were wronged.
  • Decision phase: In which the injured person recognizes that the way in which they have been coping is no longer effective and begins to explore forgiveness as an option for healing. This phase involves an exploration of what forgiveness is and is not.
  • Work phase: In which the injured person actively engages in a process of understanding their offender, developing compassion and empathy, and absorbing the pain of their injury instead of passing it on to others.
  • Outcome or discovery phase: In which the injured person attempts to find meaning in their suffering, and realizes that giving the gift of forgiveness is healing for themselves.

References

  • Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2000). Helping clients forgive: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association.
  • Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. (2015). Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. Washington, DC: APA Books.
  • Freedman, S., & Enright, R. D. (2017). The use of forgiveness therapy with female survivors of abuse. Journal of Women’s Health Care, 6(3), art. 369. doi: 10.4172/2167-0420.1000369